When is the Best Time to Relocate with Children?

I have often been asked when is the best time to relocate with children.

For a school aged child, the ideal time to move is during the summer break. In this way the child can begin the school year with his/her classmates. During that summer break, it’s best to involve the child in as many activities as possible with their new schoolmates so there are familiar faces the first day.

If this isn’t possible, remember, children are extremely flexible and can adapt easily, usually better than their parents.

As a Psychotherapist working with expats living abroad and those being repatriated, I have worked with many families to help reduce the stress and anxiety before a move, after the move, and before a move home. What I have found to be more important than the time of year one moves with a child, is doing it correctly. I recommend the following:

Make sure the child has had time to say proper good-byes to family and friends.

Get addresses, emails and skype IDs from anyone with whom they may wish to stay in touch.

Bring things from home that are important to the child, i.e., stuffed animals, photos, books, toys, etc. Involve the child in this and ask what is important to him/her.

After the move, allow the child to help you set up his/her room in a way that’s most comfortable to them. Don’t worry about a wall color being unusual, odd placement of furniture. The most important thing is that the child feels this is his/her room, not someone else’s.

Take the time to familiarize the child with their new surroundings. Walk around the neighborhood, meet the neighbors, look at the school before they enroll, go to the library, etc.

Listen to the child and observe new behaviors. You may find they are having difficulty with the move and will want to intervene as soon as possible.

Try to model the behaviors and feelings you want your child to exhibit without setting expectations too high and without giving them the impression that having difficulty with the move is unacceptable.

No matter what we may feel as adults, we want to try to convey a positive attitude about the move with our children. This will help them have a sense of security and adventure in their new environment.